the funeral back in hk was a blessed one as everything is quite smooth~~
the weather, the procedures, all are well timed. really thank God for it.
my grandfather passed away in peace, while he was having his meal, just left, no pain.
after witnessing several funerals, i prayed to God to hope that mine is a painless one.
haha.
his life was tough, came to a remote island in hk from China due to war, had language barrier as he is a teochew(hk's main language is cantonese)
he farmed, and fetch his family over(wife and 6 kids)
it was tough, they were poor.
in this circumstance, he turned to Buddha.
he told buddha that if he can make his life better, he will be a veg in his life.
so he start eating veg, but life did not turn better.
even in times whereby the family had no money to eat, he still take money to offer to buddha.
for this, he often quarrel with grandma.
my grandma is a very traditional woman, so she follow my grandfather's religion, w/o really believing.
she will quietly keep money as grandpa use money this way.
she felt that having money with her will give her peace.
five yrs ago, my grandpa had an illness and could not really walk.
he call out to buddha and ask buddha to save him, but nothing changed.
he start questioning his belief, "where are u when i need u? i had been worshipping u all this years!".
brothers and sisters from church start visiting him,praying for him caring for grandma.
he slowly get to know Jesus, reading the bible, and finally decided to accept Christ and was baptized in 06. this is something we could not imagine as he was a devoted buddhist that had been a vegetarian for more than 40 years. the amazing work of God and the love and care from his daughter, brother and sisters from church.
as my grandpa often need to go to hospital, the hospital fees need to be paid.
his sons and daughters try to
to be continued...

i'm sorry.

the damage had been inflicted.
i hope by using words, i can cushion the damage a bit.
nevertheless, what was done wrong by me had occurred.
i can only be sorry.

07/12/08

david and my grandfather returned to the Lord on the same day.

david, i always called him "King David".
he is the brother that taught me how to do logistic stuff such as where to look for the mike stand, the sound system,how to set up stuffs.

results

F
D+
C
C+
B-

pissed!

hit my wisdom tooth with the edge of the taxi door till bleed,
cant finish my cm2132 paper, which suppose to be the only module i can score, cos i was too excited about the module. i'm really powerful. worthless piece of shit.

i declare war on the worthless piece of shit name lau yi ki!
i declare war.
war ah!!!

"knee jab" "elbow strike" "jump kick"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how great is our God??

slept at 5am, wake up at 6.. dozed off, wake up at 7, dozed off, wake up at 730!! die. went to bath.. then rush out of home, din gel hair.. went down, thank God there is a cab!! wave it, got in, and the uncle drive fast!! i reach church at 810.. quickly wear the robe, then rush out to practice.. but since i lost my scores the other time so i have to rush to print after the practice.. rush down, had a prayer before going in to the sanctuary. then as i was putting the score in the the file, i found my notes.. and i was very amused.. hahaha.. cos i had been looking for it, over the 2 weeks, and i suddenly appeared, after i print a new one.. was in a really good mood when the service started. hee.. then the singspiration was really good too, for i really feel like i was praising God, not just singing the song. it had been long since this really happen. for either i was distracted, or i was too focus on my singing techniques, or cos the song was too nice.. i was in a very ji an mood, and it lasted for quite a while.. i cant really change my mood so when i was singing with the choir, i cant really sing out the song's intended mood as the song was supposed to be slightly happy, lighthearted..i was trying to smile but my mood just cant change that fast.. but i hope god understands.

the sermon is good too!

to be used by God, is grace

to be used by God for a life time, even more is grace

continue in part 2.. tired

stomach problem..

stomach flu? dunno leh.. just that my stomach is feeling real bad.. diahorrea a few times since last sat.. today oso feel bad... but.. sit on the toilet bowl very long oso nothing happen.. haha..(ku xiao..)

this is quite cool, two songs of same song name..

人算甚麼  曲詞: 李芷晴

驟望宇宙萬有 無言地頌讚做物能力

望著那天邊浮雲 都浮沉

這世界掌管於您手之中

月亮缺席的星空 更顯出那星際閃爍生輝

這漆黑的美麗

全屬您創造而來的一切 噢哈利路亞

人到底算是 算是甚麼

神您竟這樣 這樣顧念我

凝望星光 鋪滿您陳設的天際

才驟覺自己如海沙般渺小

神您竟這樣 這樣顧念我

人到底算是 算是甚麼

無從說道 心裡盡是驚歎安慰

神您賜下尊貴冠冕

榮耀裡可跟您相見

才驟覺自己如比天使重要

寂寞暗淡的一生

神同在並給我添上色彩

我不得不讚頌

神獨您永是全能的主宰 噢哈利路亞

nice song, good reflection

主手創出風雷星宿

早春夏雨深秋

神話語發出榮耀極豐厚

萬有亦出於祢口主

手創出星河宇宙

一切美不勝收

人在祢創造中恩深厚

是祢靈賜下自由

人算甚麼 人算甚麼

主祢竟顧念他

人算甚麼 人算甚麼

主祢竟顧念我

（副歌）今夜星光斑爛多璀璨

銀河上有月影一彎彎

笑問天父何竟心仍未冷

重擔為我肩擔

今夜星光斑爛多璀璨

銀河上有月影一彎彎

笑問我算甚麼竟蒙大愛

深恩世代驚嘆

me and my little adventure..

1 july
after the wonderful cycling experience with s208, had not been cycling... but due to the need to go for a hair cut, i ride my bike out again!! waited quite longfor my turn, but was pretty ok..
after the hair cutt, i start my little adventure.. try a new route to go tamp.. hee..upper changi road--> simei road--> blk 201--> tamp central --->bedok reservoir--> home.. haha.. was pretty good.. slightly tired for i had not been excercising.. had procrastinated for very long about cutting hair.. i tell myself, i need to change.. got lots need to be changed.. so i finally do one thing at a time.. 1.cut hair. 2. wash, change my 2-3 months bedsheet and blanket 3. pack my notes (both sems, my room is messy dao~~) 4.pack my room(big project) 5. sermons to be transferred from writtens words to laptop.

in the meanwhile, have to fight with temptation, and most importantly, get back to God, to have a will and heart that wants to seek God. for i realised and realised, that i'm really nothing, without God, i'm unable to live like a human. For a full and abundant life come from Him and only He can fill ourempty hearts. to love the unlovable, to love the different, to know wat is love and how to love. needs to escape from the bondage of temptation and sloth, and only God can guide me, give me the power to do so. shall change myself slowly, which is better than no change, for i have been procastinating too much.. slow change, day by day. not giving up yet, for i'm going to be stubborn with this one.. hurhur. last but not least.. too sleep early!!

wed?

have not been studying..
thinking alot..
i think i really want a gf, hhaha, despo yiki..
but, no matter how desperate, i have to wait..
In His time, there is nothing happening too early or too late..
my dad had been fainting frequently lately, today, he get dizzy again, i need to pick him up from bus interchange.
it had been happening for 3 times in the past week.. really too frequent..
at least he is not hospitalised like last yr..
have been thinking, wat'l happen if he is too sick?
cannot work anymore?
why i cant study?
why 'm I always hiding from problems?
why i keep sinning?
why i try to hide from God, or rather put Him aside despite He is so important to me?
why, why, why?
i may not have all the answers to all this questions...
but i know my God still love me, always love me. The only Love that will never change.
i'm sorry my God, i'l really try to change.
i'l learn how to love U, how to love myself, how to love people, with my heart.
i do not know how to love, i'm self-centred.
when i'm weak, God, pls forgive me, pls softly pick me up with your hands.
when i'm scared, feel like running away, pls me with me, give me courage, as u walk with me..
thank you my God..

saturday

went for a run with the uncles today.. haha.. was early for once, so many time since we had ran.. i had not been running for the pass 2 months? 3? destined routr should be from upper pierce to some where near mac richie.. ran closely with uncle, quite rough terrain, muddy, full of uneven ground, uneven stones.. remind me of last time cross country competition... hahah.. great run.. but because i was focusing too much on the ground, i did not look around to remember the route.. i ran like a quater of the route, then too tired, walk.. then run, walk, run walk(mostly walk..) then slowly, my right knee pain, then left knee, then left foot blister, then right foot. the blister @ right foot is quite bad, but i continue.. then worst is headache.. finally after a long while, i hit the U-turn point. suddenly as i walk back, i wasw thinking, i walk with this pain, 2000 years ago, as Jesus walk his way to the place where he was going to be cruxified. with all the lashes wound on the back, with that heavy cross on his battered back, feeling weak, noisy..

• have he thought of giving up?
• when he fell down, will he just wanna lie down there and forget it?

He continued.

every step i take, is painful, left leg, right leg, left leg.. ii was thinking, o God, where r u at this time.. pls be with me..i cant feel God, but as i look around, the sparkling glitters from the reflection of the river water, the thin layers of fog lying lightly on the green pastures, the nice greeneries of the trees, nice blue sky, i know, my God who make all this is here. as i run back, i continue to think. how many times can we reverse time and go backwards? how many things we can ever do again? not much. therefore, really need to treasure whatever we have now.no matter is the time whereby we are students, having a family, having parent, having brother and sisters, having friends.

as i run on, i lost my way..... (-_-)" then God sent a uncle to guide and run with me, then i found that i ran really off!! then took very long to get back to upper pierce.. normally, we start @ 8, end @ 9 plus? but today i came back @ 10... hai..so sorry to my uncles who are waiting for me.. din get to eat the legendary wan ton mee cos the boss is renovating the shop.. sobs.. then went to Mac with the uncles.. haha.. but was late for my music lesson.. hai..

then went home quickly wash clothes, wash the muddy shoes, bath, and go church study.. then came home and rest.. tired dao~~ organic read 2more chap, lsm still stuck at that chap.. hai.. but better than nothing.. haha.. 一日难过一日过。should not worry and continue to have faith and peace..! zzz..

\

friday..

wasted my day, but amazingly, i finished one chap of cm1121, understand something of lsm1401.
but i'm quite pissed with myself for falling again.. o god, pls help me to live out of my sin.. it is a great pain.. i have discovered something, i find something i eat can make me physically very high. coffee!! it make my heart pump faster, make me really very high, wanna do things, got the feeling like macham i'm running like that. cool..

organic chem 0%

physical chem 0%

principle for chemical process 0%

biochem 1 full chapstats 0%

主的恩典乃是一生之久

圣灵啊，求你来，

我软弱你明白

我无言，你叹息，

亲自为我代求

你鉴察我的心，

使我走在属神旨意

你医治我的灵，

使我生命再次绚丽啊，

我心不住赞美啊，我灵不住称谢

一宿虽有哭泣，早晨必欢呼

主的恩典是一生之久

啊，我心不住赞美啊，我灵不住称谢

一宿虽有哭泣，早晨必欢呼

主的恩典是一生之久

i really like this songs, especially the lyrics. it is very comforting, i feel so loved by God when i read it and sing it.

17 虽 然 无 花 果 树 不 发 旺 ， 葡 萄 树 不 结 果 ， 橄 榄 树 也 不 效 力 ， 田 地 不 出 粮 食 ， 圈 中 绝 了 羊 ， 棚 内 也 没 有 牛 ；
18 然 而 ， 我 要 因 耶 和 华 欢 欣 ， 因 救 我 的 　 神 喜 乐 。

哈 巴 谷 書 3:17-18

i love this verse, i should rejoice in my Lord no matter wat tis the outcome of my exam results, especially when He is with me as i study, guiding my days, leading my ways!

wednesday.... i wonder...

organic chem 0%
physical chem 0%
principle for chemical process 0%
biochem 1 chap
stats 0%

this is interesting..

anyway, at least i had cross the red sea! i finished exodus!!! woohoo!! starting leviticus..

jiayou to all.. addoil to myself.haha

ahhhhh

i really need God, a lot.. i need to fight temptation, w/o him,i cant do anything against it..
but,i really thank god, for he show me something, "my grace is sufficient for you" i really experience and understand it, therefore, i should not worry and gain courage from him and walk the path ahead. i was really running low with my money, it is till a pt whereby i dun have enough for the next day's meal. then i also dunno how to ask from my mom.then, my mom just out of the blue gave me another $50!! i havent even ask from God, and reveal anything to my mom, and gotten this! it is not a lot, but it is not little, just enough to last till the next allowance day.
actually, God's grace had been showering on me in many other events. like he blessed me with parents, brother and sisters, friends, being able to eat, move,sleep, got somewhere to stay, got clothes to wear. all of this are not to be taken for granted as there are many ppl w/o all this, many may not wake up the next day, may eat only one meal or none per day.
but once again, i should really reflect on how i spend money that causes me to run out of money. butbutbut, i played DOTA with wee keat on mon(despite no money, i'm a bad boy) , and i really win him, with him having no excuse to losing. he underestimate me and lost. hoho.. it was so shuang ah!! haha..-_- i was really happy and had a really good dream that night.. haha..
on sunday, during service, the speaker talked about the constant flowing of the living water.

as a lazy person, i will just state a few that is important and worth-thinking-about pointers

submit to difficulties, sufferings? curse and swear? grumble?

• with a difficult situation, sufferings, difficulties, we are more able to experience God's power and help
• he will never let us experience a difficulty so great that we cant take it
• he is with us: we are not alone. Our God is with us and guiding ,helping us as we move on.
• is a good opportunity in looking upon our GOd
• sometimes, we have neglected God for so long that he wants to raise our attention using this difficulties

P.S.:what i had heard and written down on my paper is in chinese. my translation is not very good, so if anyone dun get or understand, pls tag me..

need to add lots of oil, may God grant me peace and enjoy this time with him ;-)

thursday....

last night sleep at 3am, then long day..
but but but, really thank God deep deep, today during lecture, i din fall asleep much and paid attention and understand in class!! woo~~ thank you God!!
but, now i hon tou ni tired.. haha.. nvm, i go jiayou w my assignment and lab report le!! hee

wednesday..

today is my free day, but i wasted my day.. i should be doing work, but i refused to do work..

friday, interesting daY!!

today is so coooool!! hhaha.. wake up at 1030, got to skul for lab.. try to recrystalise, then use wrong method..-.- the best is , my chemicals exploded out of the 100ml conical flask!! so wat i had left for that chemical is much less.. haha.. then it have oil, which mean there is impurity in it(probably from the neutral compound, this is my acidic compound)so have to do hot filtration!! then my neutral compound dont form crystal, which means i need to do solvent pair but i thank God la! cos if both recrystalisation is single solvents, i will not learn and know what is solvent pair.. haha.. thank God! he let me have calmness to finsih whatever i need to do! and it is really fun!! haha.. i love organic chem!! i caught with the speed of the others and finish the experiment. but but but, by the time i finish, it is already 5, which means i had missed 1131 lecture by 1 hour already!!! ('.') haha.. and ya ting wasn't done, cos, her compound is like mine, got oil as impurity... but her TA tell her no need to do hot filtation.. that is why when we were testing for the compound's melting point, the mp keep changing.. then we were like.. sian dao~~~

after that, esther, jiamin, qing wen, candice left sci, yating, wk and i went to megabite for dinner.. then took train home, then i saw my cchms classmates that is studying in ntu!1 we were asking each other how is our classmates lately.. haha.. nostagious.. then wk and i went katong for lan.. then i purposely left earlier to catch the last bus.. but, haha, once again, i run after the last bus and it left me.. haha.. 2nd time liao.. haha..which means i walked home again.. haha.. but i happy la, cos the MineShine milk tea is on discount!! only $1.50, it was $2.20 normally.. i bought one like the other time.. and walked home.. this time, i walked faster... hoho.. start at 1.20am, reach my home at 2.26am!! only 1 hour and 6 mins!! haha.. the other time i reach home at 3.. haha.. thank God for giving strength and courage to reach home!! haha... it make me think of the time i was walking with yingqi's cg in the adventure camp.. haha... okok la, i go and watch my ninpu sentai hurricanger la.. haha.. tomolo got 10km run!! woot!!!

some nice photos(doanna and terenze bdae)

feeling bad

things get a bit different now.. i still find it hard to get used to.. it had been on my mind.. hai.. now, there is increased work load, ministry, vocal class, money issue. really need to seek help from God for power to change my attitude and life style. help me God!!

F5

starting afresh!!