i just cant stop worrying.

intern day 6

imagine u have to read and search journals for a whole day and u have to understand them, and think of the best way to combine, modify and exercise it out. that is wat happened. i had to research for 3 drugs, and figure out the way to modify and see them show a distincitive pattern on the machines. very tiring and mind exhausting as i have nv read so much journal in one day before, have to understand and try to map them into the current system.

intern day 7

finally, i had started on my personal project after all the literature research.
the weighing balance is 0.00000g and i need to measure 0.01000g accurately, as accurate as 0.0100Xg. tedious tedious, but they are done. dissolve in methanol, check UV and we are ready. samples are queueing on lcms and lcms-tof, very excited to see what are the results that i'm going to see on monday!!

watched the chopping of autopsy liver today, hmm..

saw auntie wendy's eye in bad condition, i wanted to tell her i want to pray for her, but i did not.. i prayed on my own, silently for her, and thank God, after a about 1 hour, she is back to normal! thank God for saying yes to my prayer. when people get old, they really have lots of physical problems. i was telling guo hao, when we are young, must really take good care of our body, like sleeping early and eating normally, if not, our body will have a lot problems that could have been avoided. i was asking myself, if God gave us 24hours, and after work, time are so precious, how shd i use them? over spenting on fb, youtube are really a waste of time, not worthy in spending.there are so much more meaningful stuff to do.

leave of absence

as i close my computer, i laughed at myself. i was so worried that i almost cant sleep. then i recall the only 3 chapters that i'm supposed to read for the pass month.

马太福音6章：33-34 “你们要先求他的国和他的义。这些东西都要加给你们了。所以不要为明天忧虑。因为明天自有明天的忧虑。一天的难处一天当就够了。"

那么，我还忧虑什么呢？我已经尽我的能力去做，而神的确掌管。我那晚求神，能够做intern到12月，但我知道神为我预备了最美好的计划，不管是，或不是做intern到12月。所以，我求神教导我顺服，不管他的答案是否和我心中的一样。过后，就带着笑容睡着了。但起来后，又开始担心。我祷告。我想，我没有平安，是因为我不愿完全放手给神。6章教的，就是把焦点放在神，不是把焦点放在自己的需要，因为神预备，神看顾。我一切的需要，神在我未祷告之前都已经知道。只要把焦点放对就好了。若真的只能做一个月，固然可惜，因为我真的学了很多，非常享受我的工作，就算下班后，累到差一点在地铁站着时差点睡着，我还是很期待上班。但是，若做半年不是神要给我的，硬硬做，也是徒然的。最重要，就是与神的心意并行嘛。学习，有一颗愿意放手，愿意顺服的心。